Old me

Cleaning out my office in preparation for the move West. Reading over old papers and tests and stupid things I should have thrown out years ago. I'm struck by the thought that the old me has been lost. I remember a philosophical, curious, eager person prepared to take on the world if need be. I am not that young man anymore. It sounds melodramatic, but the world beats you down. I now find myself concentrating on the here and now - trying to enjoy moments - rather than on where I'm headed. The world is too unpredictable, too cruel, and too slow-moving to pay much heed to the dreams and whims of poor boys from Vermont. Especially if you believe that. Focusing on the moments is good - and I need to be better about remembering (documenting?) - but accomplishing something of meaning is gaining importance in my life again. I think my education has simultaneously served to heighten my understanding of how the world works and fog my view of how it can get any better. I need to clear the fog.